Grieving and The National

Song link:
https://open.spotify.com/track/0Q92W84plffLlDY1tGJpio?si=Y09w82pMQ76wXl22MbuILQ

When we're in distress, sometimes there is nothing we can do apart from sitting in our tears as we wait for dawn, as we wait for our restlessness and the darkness to pass, as we walk the road ahead and process our suffering.

I think these lyrics by the National express what it's like to grieve well:

"But I'm learning to lie here in the quiet light
While I watch the sky go from black to grey
Learning how not to die, inside a little every time...

Learning how not to cry every time there's another sad unbearable morning
But sometimes there's nothing I can do"


To some extent, as he put in these lines, we all must learn how to be ok in our pain.

The word “be”, as it’s used in the context of this song, is an interesting word to understand, and an even harder one to practice.

After all, how does one "be" ok if being is not an action?

Nor is it pushing through or finding a shorter way around.

Being is pausing to take a slow breath amidst our everyday hurts, temptations, and anxiety to remember:

We’re doing ok.

"Being" and remaining grounded and connected to God's presence in our Spirit is what we are after, for in it lies all the healing, sobriety, and serenity we could ever seek.

The difference between blaming and vulnerability

It's all too easy to find things to blame...

"My job is boring."

But, it's far more difficult to take the time to try to understand our feelings, to be vulnerable with ourselves, to admit why we truly feel the way we do:

"My job is slow and doesn’t feel very meaningful. I think this is likely because I don't feel like my work is important, I feel insignificant about myself, depressed, and like I'm wasting my days away. Ultimately, I feel ashamed.

Or

"You make me furious!"

Instead of...

"When you don't clean up the kitchen after yourself, I know this isn't how you likely perceive your actions, but it makes me feel like you don't care about me."

There's something magical that happens when we muster up the courage to share what we truly feel with ourselves.... and then, those we trust.

This week, make an effort to slow down. See what’s truly lying under your impulses. And even better, share what you find with a close friend.

Watch how the world opens up to you in new ways as you focus on becoming more aware and curious of your underlying feelings.