White Walls

White Walls

I’ve learned many lessons in this house
with our white walls and plastic cups.
there’s much to learn living within crammed spaces,
living in only 4 rooms.

Here is where I learn how to love
and of all I need.
it’s not much,
just us

looks like you’ve tripped
fallen back into your sins
hey, you left your cups on the coffee table again.
we’re not always at our best here
but we clean up our messes,
sometimes.

our annoying blank walls teach me
of complacency & contentment
your repetitive words,
patience
they’re bothering me again,
grace
but I’m annoyed,
I’m bitter.
I’ll hide in my room.
remind me to come closer
please,
or I’ll run further away
from who I truly need.

these white walls teach me daily
happiness is here
happiness is now.
I have to stay home tonight, 
I need a lesson on love.

mind, please don’t wonder from this home
to the bigger houses down the street
dreaming of a life in mansions
and people better than you, 
and us,
remember?

because happiness is here
happiness is now.
I forgot again,
we can’t afford to move yet.

white walls hold me in
keeping my imagination grounded,
telling me to stay

I need this house.
it’s white walls teach me I don’t need much;
not money and decorations
just us and this home

I have all I need,
right here, right now.
we gave this home a soul.
it’s now apart of us, 
I’m staying here
cause this feels like us,
it feels like home.

 

This is one of the first poems I ever wrote about the first apartment I ever lived in and the lessons I felt it was trying to teach me.  I wrote it two years ago and it’s still one of my favorite’s to this day, probably because of how much the memories I have living there mean to me.  That apartment will always hold a special place in my heart, similar to the house I grew up in.  The lessons learned there and memories made will be a treasure I’ll hold for the rest of my life.

Still to this day, I miss those blank, white walls.  Thanks to this poem, I can always go back.