Resisting being controlled

Can you remember the force of motivation that arose in you as a teenager that resisted the feeling of being controlled?

This "force" of resistance is what psychologists call counterwill, and its a natural part of developing into an adult that aids us in discovering our own motivations and preferences as teenagers.

However, as many of us know from our teenage years, it doesn't always go hand-in-hand with wise discernment and decision making abilities...

Counterwill is why pastors kids often end up running in the complete opposite direction from their parents. Or why we grow up resisting the place we grew up. 

There's no freedom!  No choices to make!  Nothing to be!

And we need such choices and options to find ourselves.

Not around us, though, but within.

Without the freedom to make choices as we please, we'll want to run away from whatever situation we find ourselves in with every part of our being.

Because we're made to have a choice, to muster up and manage our own motivations... take that away, and our counterwill and immature impulses overrun us.

Even as adults, when we feel our power stripped away, we still witness our "inner teenager or child" impulsively jump out in reaction before we can even blink.

Such moments like these reveal our counterwill still at work within us, and also, areas where we have not fully developed and matured as adults.

These impulse moments are moments to pay attention to, and also, moments to compassionately inquire of ourselves why it is that we are still reacting in an impulsive, immature way whenever we feel out of control? 

(Perhaps, with our wives, kids, bosses, or coworkers?)