A Kingdom Come

It’s been over ten days since I left, and I’m still trying to piece together what visiting Lake Tahoe  inspired in me.  The three days I spent at the lake were surprisingly, emotionally perplexing, due to the contrast of losing myself in the awe and wonder of the crystal shores and sapphire waters and being completely overcome by the realization of my youth as I stood among such an ancient formation of land and water.

Lake Tahoe is over two million years old, holds waters deeper than 1,600 feet, and is surrounded by mountains over 10,000 ft. tall.  And me, I'm 6’4”, twenty-three years old- only human. 

I remember driving through the mountains on our way to hike down to Emerald Bay and feeling unbearably small as I looked over the lake.  It was clear these mountains and waters had been here, together, for a very long time.

I hoped I wasn't intruding.

 

 

 

 

------/////------

 

That was also when the thought of leaving in a couple days became convicting.

I was bummed about going back to my normal “day-to-day” life so soon.  And even worse, I was troubled, because it felt as if the mountains were watching me and knew my next step before I did.  They knew it, because I’m human. And that's what us humans do: we come and we leave.  We take and take and take, and then soon pass away, without even realizing how fleeting we are. Rarely do we learn from what we’ve seen and rarely do we sow and invest in the places we go, and use our time on things that matterThe mountains know this of us.  They’ve watched us for a long time.  Thankfully, they still have sympathy.

As we drove under Mount Tallac and along the cliff sides that overlooked the lake, specifically Emerald Bay, that was when I knew that I too, like most of humanity, was guilty of thinking far too highly myself and the time I have been given.  That was when I saw, compared to these mountains, how fleeting both I and the rest of humanity is upon this earth; and how immature my ways of thinking were; and how quickly I would soon pass by. 

For the mountains, they’ve seen thousands, if not millions, of winters come and go. Their next winter is guaranteed, but for me, tomorrow is not even promised.

I wondered how well I was using my time and the life I’ve been given. 

 

 

------/////------

 

If I only have so much time here, I want it to matter.

Jesus said, "A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows…” We all have time and we’re all sowing it into something, night and day, week after week, month after month, whether we realize it or not. The question is, what are we sowing our time into and from an eternal standpoint, do these things even matter?

For me, I want every day to matter.  And in order to do so, I have to know what heaven values and adjust my lifestyle accordingly.  

Obviously, not everything passes into eternity with us.  But if I truly believed this wouldn’t I be prioritizing my time, money, and possessions differently?  

 

------/////------

 

Although Tahoe will see more days on this earth than me, I have an eternity before me that this land will never see.  

So I remind myself… 

My days are for a Kingdom come.

My days are nothing but seed.

 

------/////------

 

"the Kingdom of God is like... a mustard seed, which is the smallest of all seeds on the earth.  Yet when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants…"

 

------/////------

 

-  “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth…but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

- "But whatever was to my profit, I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him...” - Philippians 3:7-8

- "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us… to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, obtaining as the outcome of your faith the salvation of your souls." 1 Peter 1:3- 

The Story Behind My New Book, Journeys Within

As I questioned my art and methods of expressing myself through photography over the past couple years, I found that my normal routine of composing, mending, and displaying a photograph felt incomplete. 

I can’t remember how many times I’ve captured, printed, and hung a photo on my wall and felt as if there was still, somehow, more work that needed to be done.  Despite the vivid colors, haunting shadows, and near perfect composition in the photos on my wall, I could see and feel in my heart my pictures still lacking personality and artistry.  That they held beauty, but lacked character, and portrayed a subject, but not a story.  And not just the photographs- but I too, lacked all the above.

I felt empty.  But I continued creating.

The void dug into my skin, and drove me to work harder than I ever had before.  I really didn’t know what I was chasing, but over the next two years I explored every art form and idea that popped into my head.  I tried painting, curating my own photography blog, oil pastels, a photography and poetry collaboration with my former roommate, and countless other artistic endeavors that I can’t even remember.  None of them lasted, nor did they fill my void inside.  Every passion and artistic expression that I've pursued over the past two years has faded, and thankfully, failed; except for photography and one other craft I dabbled with along the way- writing. 

Through my artistic wondering and exploring over the past couple years, I realized that photographs often need more than to be seen, they need to be heard.  Hence why so many photographers nowadays have lyrics or quotes posted beneath their photos.  When the eyes peer upon a photo, I've found that the soul often still asks for more.  

This realization pushed me to start writing. I couldn’t settle with quoting a lyric or phrase that wasn’t my own.  My art had to be me, all one-hundred percent of it, without exception.  My only problem was that I was a terrible writer.  But regardless, I forced myself to put words on a page. 

For two years I wrote, journaled, and crafted poetry in private, and only now do I feel as if I finally have something worth sharing- a story worth telling and being heard.  As you may or may not know, I've been working on writing and a self-publishing a book over the past two months called Journeys Within, and it's my response to the unwanted silence that I found in my artwork and photography.  

In summary, Journeys Within is a collection of photography & poetry about the wilderness and the soul.  The content has been fully written, edited, and formatted and I'm now waiting for my first proof copy to come in the mail.  I don't have a set release date yet, but I am aiming for it to be released sometime in March.

I’m looking forward to sharing more about this project in the weeks to come.  

In the meantime, you can stay updated by subscribing to my newsletter above or by following me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Snapchat (jhuth3).


Thank You.

Over the years I’ve always wondered why I could never bring myself to photograph weddings and senior pictures again.  Though I enjoyed it in high school and was quite successful at it; photographing events and people has never been what I favored. I’ve since realize that the focus was always on capturing and helping tell the stories of others.  And although that’s great, I felt it stifled my creativity and I knew deep down that I could produce better art.  For I found in helping tell the stories of others, that my soul ached to tell a story of it’s own. 

Over the years I’ve followed and looked up to many great, well known photographers. And I’ve noticed a trend: the good photographers help tell other peoples stories, but the great ones tell their own. 

And as an artist I don’t want to be good, I want to be great. 

Not for selfish reasons, I simply know that I would love to make a living doing what I love and that returning to where I started with photography would be a step backwards. I can’t settle knowing there’s more in me left to give and create.  So once again, I'm chasing tenaciously after the art I know hides within me, and I'm looking forward to sharing what I've been working on in the weeks to come.

But without everyone who follows and supports me, I know my creative chase would be in vain. So I wanted to take a moment to thank all of you who enjoy my art, books, photography, and blog, and those who have followed me on this journey so far. It means more to me than you’ll ever know and I appreciate every comment, like, and email of encouragement you've sent my way.

Thank you.

-Josh