When pain is all you feel, pain is your world.

I had surgery this week on my gums.

For the procedure, they removed a strip of gum tissue off the roof of my mouth and stitched it over my receding gum line.

So... it’s been a long, slow, painful week.

And while I was laying in bed today, I was reminded that when pain is all you feel, pain is your world.  

There is no escaping it.  You can’t see or think past it. And every minute, you’re battling your impulse to numb the pain and the impulse that begs you to do anything to make it go away.

Sometimes I crave my pain pills, other times it’s Netflix.

Anything to get my mind away.

I constantly have to stop and think through my reactions to the pain, as these cravings aren't my norm.

Throughout the week, I've realized that physical pain is no different than emotional pain.  Pain is pain, and you either learn to cope, numb, and live with it, or you decide that you want to heal.

Get better.

Take the clean way.

That’s what I tell my clients, at least.

So... I get it.  Pain is hell and so is healing.  I get America’s problem with treating pain with pills.  I get why men numb-out on pornography.

It’s easier.

But unfortunately, numbing is different than healing.  

As I sit here in pain, waiting for my body to heal, icing my mouth, doing what my doctors instructed me to do- I'm reminded of the Johnnyswim line:

“The best way over’s through.”


* song link:
*PS this was written last week, so the surgery was actually last week. Just an FYI. I'm just now getting aroun to posting it.