Experiencing childhood pain and trauma is the emotional equivalent to coming into adulthood burdened with $100,000 of debt to climb out of.
(And it could be more, pending on your story.)
So if you’re irritated and angry with all the pain and stress that you’ve had to go through, you’re likely right, your situation is not fair. It’s not fair what’s happened to you, it’s not fair that you didn’t have a choice with your upbringing, with the pain you experienced, and it’s not fair how much work and pain you now have to push through to become whole and free and who you were made to be...
So maybe there’s no need to put all this pressure on yourself for not overcoming your addiction faster or improving your marriage in a more timely manner.
You wouldn’t expect a friend to get out of $100K of debt in a year (or likely even two or three years), so why are you putting these expectations on yourself?
You’re doing the best you can with what you’ve been given.
This journey is going to take time...
And that’s ok.